3. Running with the Bulls…
My dear friend Harry (not his real name) has been in the hospital for a few weeks, not with Covid, but because he is on dialysis 3 days a week, has had some infections in his body lately, and has a Pacemaker that was just removed to clean it of germs.
He turned 80 last week, but did not have visitors due to Covid restrictions in the city. Further STRESS on him includes everything from constant noise, being stuck with needles, having young doctors around who have no sense of good bedside manner, and nurses who don’t speak good English.
He is a devout Catholic and has been concerned about issues with the Church, and with his family. We talk regularly, but the other night was the first time I actually heard him crying. Yes, there are many things for him to be “sad” about, but when I later dug deeper, I found that his tears were his way of hiding RAGE. I define Rage as “total frustration; I don’t like this and I can’t do anything about it!!!”
Feeling totally “out of control” of your body and of your experience of life is not something we can take lightly. It is a horrible feeling. But what can we DO??? Stuffing that feeling of Rage does not support your health. Keeping quiet might be good for those around you … but NOT FOR YOU. It’s a huge stressor.
Fortunately for us human beings, our Conscious Mind has the capability of CHOICE, and we CAN CHOOSE to imagine something very different from our current circumstances. In the moment, we can CHOOSE to feel like we are standing in a warm, delicious shower. We can choose to feel like we’re floating in a pool of water in the sun, or furiously paddling down a white water mountain stream, or running from the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. And imagining that while running we easily escape the bulls.
I told Harry about psychiatrist Victor Frankel’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. The power of imagination saved him from the horrors of 4 different Nazi concentration camps and loss of his family. “Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose.”
Well tonight I again spoke with Harry, asking “Did it make you feel better to imagine being in the warm shower?”
He said, “Yes, but they gave me a rub-down bath today and powdered me, and then got me up to go see the doctor. That’s when I told them what I didn’t like about what was going on!” So Harry switched from being upset and frustrated… to feeling empowered and taking back control of his situation! He felt much better. You can too.
